Karin: ‘THE BIG M…‘

Everyone told me I was stressed and needed to make changes in my life. The thing is though, I wasn’t at all stressed. Not more than usual.

However, what really made me think something was up and there was no way it was stress related was waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Some nights I would even wake up literally dripping from sweat. And here is a fact about me: I don’t sweat and I never really ever have. Even when exercising I don’t really sweat. Or, I should change that: I didn’t use to sweat when exercising, but that has also started changing now.

I Googled my various symptoms (as you do) and the results were the same: menopause. To say that I was in shock was an understatement.

So, I went to the GP and got blood tests done. I had some minor abnormal hormone levels and when I mentioned the menopause, my GP said there might well be something to that and she referred me to the UCLH menopause clinic. I then had another set of blood tests done about a month later and those tests came back within the range of normal. I have since learned that diagnosing menopause with blood tests is not accurate and you should go by symptoms instead. Luckily my GP is excellent and thought it would be helpful to have bloods done to check for a variety of things. However, sadly numerous women are told to have blood tests done, they come back within the range of normal and get told they are either depressed, stressed or that all they are experiencing is in their head.

A few months later, I saw a consultant, Mr Vikram Talaulikar, who asked about me, my lifestyle, my symptoms and much more. “Yes, what you are experiencing is normal and it is called the perimenopause”. Together with a sense of relief that I wasn’t going mad I also remember thinking: the peri-what?!

He explained to me that the stage before you reach the actual menopause is a phase called the perimenopause. He also told me that it could last 6 months, 2 years or as much as 10 years (yes, you read that correctly!) until I would hit menopause itself which is when you haven’t had your period for a year, and you can’t get pregnant (naturally). Since my initial conversation with Mr Talaulikar and all the subsequent reading I have done, I have come to think of the menopause itself as a traffic light which, when green, you drive through, and what I used to think of as menopause is actually the peri-phase.

Given my young age (young in terms of menopause), and that I most likely still would have a long way to go before reaching menopause, initially I wanted to try the natural approach rather than hormone replacement therapy (HRT). As I have acupuncture regularly and have never been able to tolerate any hormonal treatments in the past, Mr Talaulikar suggested I continue with my acupuncture and he also referred me to another part of their menopause clinic which uses alternative therapies where I had regular check-ups with a different consultant.

He sent me off for more blood tests and also a bone density scan. Your bone density is an indicator as to where you are in the peri-menopause/menopuase phase and it is very important to be checked for osteoporosis as women are particularly affected by that (and in particular if they reach their menopause early) due to the hormonal changes.

For years I have used an app called Natural Cycles which tracks my menstrual cycles and the more I learnt about perimenopause the more I started noticing (what to me seemed like) a link between daily temperature shifts, night sweats and weird physical things like strange skin, raging moods and unusual (for me at least) periods to name but a few things.

Initially, it felt strange to be in this new and uncharted personal territory. It also brought up many thoughts about womanhood, fertility, pregnancy and babies.

After our son was born in 2014, I knew I didn’t want to have another child, but since becoming aware of my body changing and that it may not be possible to get pregnant in a few years, I found that I started asking myself: “Are you sure you don’t want another one?! You know it may soon be too late.”

What I became very aware of when my symptoms started and as I started talking to women about this phase of life is that nobody talked about menopause and that so many women are in this phase too, but often have no idea and are anxious they are developing dementia for instance. Instead, so many get fobbed off by doctors, they get put on antidepressants, yet they continue not feeling well, not feeling like themselves and they worry what on earth is going on.

However, since I started my own journey and awareness of this next stage of life in 2016, I have noticed there is definitely a shift and the menopause is becoming much more talked about. This is great, but there is still a long way to go.

In 2023, I was delighted and humbled to be invited to be part of a group of people, from lay people like me to doctors who are all passionate about menopause, to help create and shape a menopause education and support programme called InTune where the aim is that it will be rolled out nationwide and people will be invited to take part; similar to how we get invited for smear tests and mammograms. This project is led by some incredible scientists, doctors and dieticians at UCL. You can read more about it HERE.

So, let’s talk about menopause because it is very real and it will happen to about half of the population!

My menopause specialist Mr Vikram Talaulikar has kindly written an incredible and comprehensive article for NW8-mums on menopause and you can read it by clicking HERE.

HRT/MHT, Doctors & Clinics

Unfortunately, not all GPs are happy to prescribe Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) / Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT) or will only do so after blood tests. However, blood tests are not a good way to diagnose perimenopause – the experts say that going by symptoms is the way to go – so you may need to really insist on being offered HRT/MHT or to be referred to a menopause clinic. Some women bypass their GPs altogether and go straight to a private clinic, but you need to know where to go and it can also be very expensive.

Mr Talaulikar has really helped me and since April 2020 I am on HRT/MHT – thankfully I seem to tolerate it ok – after my symptoms became unbearable. I am on the third combination of HRT now; the first was great, but I had horrible side effects. The second combination wasn’t strong enough, but this last different combination seems to work better. Fingers crossed it continues.

If you start HRT/MHT and it doesn’t work (although bear in mind you often need to stay on them for 2-3 months until you notice any differences and even so, some women react differently to others) or you don’t respond well to them, please go back to your doctor and try another type (there are pills, patches – my current HRT/MHT is a patch and pill combo – and gels).

NHS Menopause Clinics Near St John’s Wood – Your GP needs to refer you

• UCLH
• Queen Charlotte & Chelsea
• Royal Free Hospital

Private Clinics

I see Mr Vikram Talaulikar on the NHS and he is excellent. He also has a private clinic located in Marylebone and many women in the group have been to see him there upon my recommendation. His private clinic website has a lot of interesting information on it.

Reading & Further Resources

As always, please be in touch on NW8mums@gmail.com if I can be of help.